Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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