I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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