u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Alive.
So much puke
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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