Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
