I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
