Just cropdusted the office
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
