I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
nutella sex= disaster
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
