i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize