your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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