my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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