well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
