i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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