the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
