I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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