Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you win again, gameday.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
