I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
