Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
