If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
