i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Four minutes until I can fart!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
