Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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