do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
