i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
