I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
