Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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