I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
