the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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