put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
