I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
