I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
