I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
