Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize