The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
