Im at strip club and am horny
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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