Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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