People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
