Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
