Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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