he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
