Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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