The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
