a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
