Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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