Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
