Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No subtext here. People are naked.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
