If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
