Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
40s are totally the cure
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
