Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
