Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
