you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my phone needs a breathalizer
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
