Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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