hotel room ftw
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
