It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
