literally had 100 drinks last night.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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