Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
