You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
