I want to stick my p in your. b.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
