Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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