Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
