4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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