it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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