he shaved USA in his pubs
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
